The Time of our Lives - creative time management
Is the following scenario familiar to you?
You work long hours in a job you don’t really enjoy, because it generally pays the bills; when you get home, you're tired, so you spend the evenings watching mind-numbing television programmes which make you feel depressed; conversations with friends usually involve reminiscing about the past, dreaming about the future, or complaining about the present; weekends are spent trying to fit in all of the chores you didn’t get round to doing in the week; by the end of the week you’re exhausted, and you never manage to find time to do the things you truly enjoy.
Keeping 'busy' is a strategy we use to prevent ourselves from having time to think, because if we weren't so busy rushing round, we'd have to face up to the fact that there's something lurking in the back of our minds that we've been ignoring for a very long time - and we know that, if we stopped just for a moment, this 'thing' would erupt, and then we'd have to pay attention to it, and do something about it.
So what is this thing you keep pushed back so far in your mind that nobody would be able to find it even with a treasure map and a compass? It's a dream of something you have always wanted to do, or to be, for as long as you can remember.
At some time in the past, though, you decided (probably based on comments from other people) that your dream was unrealistic, selfish, downright stupid or that you simply didn't deserve to have what you wanted. So you locked the dream away in a tomb in the recesses of your mind, afraid that, if it got out, it might change the world as you know it.
You're absolutely right - it would!
This dream is the answer you would give if someone asked: "what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" or "what would you do if you didn't have to worry about the money?" You might already be clear about the answer, and yet you don't believe it, or perhaps you fear that you won’t be able to pay the bills if you follow your dream.
We are brought up to believe that the only success worth having is financial success, that we can't do something we love and make money (it’s like "having your cake and eating it"), that to even consider the possibility is outrageous, and that we should learn to be happy with either one or the other. And yet some of the richest entrepreneurs in the world absolutely love what they're doing - and if they can do it, SO CAN YOU!
What does any of this have to do with time management? Let me explain. It’s all about making time for the important things - the things that make you happy.
First of all, you need to make the time to sit quietly and listen to yourself - and I mean really listen - to find out what your dream is. You know what it is, even if you tell yourself you don't. You just won't admit to it yet. It's what you would love to do more than anything else in the world. If the earth stopped spinning on its axis, and time stood still, this is what you would be happy to do for the rest of eternity.
Secondly, having figured out what your dream is, you need to manage your time so that you can do what you love on a regular basis, even if you are still doing something else as your main activity. Make available as much time as you can to pursue your dream - even if you only manage to find small blocks of time, that’s better than none at all. The important thing is to keep up the momentum - once a day, once a week, for five minutes at a time, an hour at a time, or even longer if you can manage it. It doesn’t matter how ‘busy’ you are, you can make five minutes a day to do something you enjoy. This is about continuity - about keeping going until doing what you love becomes a habit. When it's a habit, you'll automatically find time, no matter what crops up unexpectedly.
When you find yourself drifting off into yet another daydream, or re-living past events, remember:
- you can’t change the past, although you can change whether you allow negative events from the past to affect you in the present.
- you can plan for the future, but the only way to affect the future is by changing what you do now.
- you can only ever live in the present, so start doing things now which will move you in the direction you want, start living now how you’d like to be living in the future, and start acting now as if the future you dream of were already a reality.
The greatest danger is that you will continue to put off your dream because you think it's unrealistic, you believe there's plenty of time to start on it later, or you think you can’t possibly find the time to start on it right now.
How many stories have we all heard, of people who have been close to death or witnessed a loved-one dying, and suddenly their priorities and their outlook on life change, as they realise that the fake dreams they had been chasing were unimportant and had actually devalued their lives.
Disaster can really put your life and your dreams into perspective - but how much better would it be to realise your dreams without having to experience the trauma of a disaster? What can you do to start living your dream now?
If not now - when?
© Julia Barnickle - April 2007
www.jbcreativelifecoaching.com
Life coaching and workshops for individuals, groups, small businesses and corporates
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